I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
