K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
