You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize