I'm really into asian looking animals
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
