I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
