Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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