did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
