No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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