I'm really into asian looking animals
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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