One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
