She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
