Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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