At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
