drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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