it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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