I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
