Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.

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(818): View more from California

to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people

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(716): View more from New York

I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester

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(714): View more from California

i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock

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(562): View more from California

bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.

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(716): View more from New York

i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls

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(650): View more from California

I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet

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(206): View more from Washington

I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized

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