Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
