Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
