Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
