I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
