We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Randomize
