she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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