I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
