Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Welp...herpes.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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