I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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