i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
