physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
