Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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