And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
