Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
