Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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