I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
