called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
