I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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