My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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