I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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