i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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