...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize