My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
