She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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