Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
