Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
