maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
