jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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