Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize