Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
