I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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