I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
