Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize