you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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