Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
