I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
smell my finger.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
