dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
