My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
