Cold hands, warm shart.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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