i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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