dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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