Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
